Spring Cleaning 1
As the title goes, I finally started packing my room. I am so lazy that I did not spring-clean my room for like a few years. So today was a good start since I cleared like 1 drawer and 1 cupboard. 
I still have like 2 drawers and 1 cupboard and yes, 1 wardrobe.
I realized I have the habit of keeping random things. I wanted to throw away all those random letters and notes that my friends and I used to exchange with one another/encouraging notes to last me for A levels/christmas cards from long lost friends. In the end, I decide that I should still keep it for as long as I can. Lots of memories gush through my tiny brain for the past 3 hours.
I MISS THOSE BUNCH OF PEOPLE! I really miss those days in MJC. We shared almost everything with one another. I admit I get irritated with some of them at times but they are still a lovely bunch. And I can’t wait for Daryl and Kenneth and Ariffin to come SMU so that I have more school buddies.
Yes! I paste tiny notes like this around my room to remind myself to clean up the room. That’s how determined I am to clear up my room this year. I shall continue the spring cleaning tomorrow.
My favourite file in primary school. I used to love Hello Kitty so much. I’ll try to make sure that I have as many Hello Kitty with me as possible. I remember having a Hello Kitty paper bag as well. And guess what, I did not throw away this file. Haha!
Who still remember this show? ME! I remembered crying like crap for the both of them la. I can’t believe I did that the last time. But then again, this is the FIRST korean drama that I LOVE.
I totally forgotten that I used to idolize these few artistes like crazy when I was young. HAHA! I used to do cuttings of them and put it in my file and re-read their interviews. Those days I didn’t have youtube.
I swear I grew fatter since MJC. HAHAH! This is just a random picture. Because I think I look cool with blazer.
I shall continue with spring cleaning tomorrow and more pictures. My blog’s a lil dull without any other colour!
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Something out of random.
I finally convinced my parents for me to take an overseas internship if there is any for me. I’m so glad that they can see my point of view. And I can’t believe my mum’s only worry is my phone bill. @$#%^&* okay la. At least it mattered to her. All the best to me.
机会？
I remember reading something from Shiqi’s blog and I agreed to those statements almost immediately. It goes something like,
朋友：你最怕什么？
我：我最怕没有机会。
It is something I feel very strongly right now. You might think that you need to fight for the things you want and yes, I agree to that as well. But how many times can you succeed with just fighting hard? Fighting hard is never enough. If you are not good means you are not good. Don’t bother to find reasons why you are not good. You still don’t stand a chance. People don’t care.
In this world, people only care about who’s better in what they do.
In this world, I understand that there is no such thing as fairness. Even my law friend says the law system is not that fair as well. Even the fairest system (at least to me) in the world isn’t that fair after all. Suddenly, what you learn in school seems not right.
I need a chance. I want a chance. But I’ll never get one because I’m not good enough and yes, not good means not good. Don’t bother asking myself why. Because people don’t care. Simple as that. And you want a chance, be good for them. If not, shut up and get on with life.
And yes, I give up asking. Because I know it will never come. So here goes my favourite, suck it up and move on.
Siau Ling, remember that you are not good so stop dreaming. Dreams will never ever come true for people like you.
Things will fall in place, I believe!
It’s already Week 4, one quarter into the semester. So far, everything looks fine.
And yes, there’s all these exchange and internships hype going on in school. Or at least I FEEL that there is a hype over all these matters. And yes, I am thinking of all these things. Above all, I am also thinking about my 2 majors as well. I mean I just need to take additional 2 more modules to graduate with double majors. No requirement. Sounds cool. So why not? I believe many know that finance will be my 2nd major and yes, I ate my words. I almost swore off finance as a major. Luckily, I did not. If not, I’ll die a terrible death. Haha! I do not understand why the sudden interest and why am I so daring to decide finance as 2nd. It’s almost clear that those people who are already majoring in finance are very zai. (Yes, I am thinking of Chong in my head right now! She’s one of them!) And I’ll join in the tough competition but I’m quite sure I’ll not go into the competitive banking industry. But since my GPA is already not very reflective of my abilities, I might as well just take something that I really want. Finance is fun. At least it made sense to me. That being said, I have not decide on my first major. AH! I think I’ll either take marketing or obhr. I just have to admit that I really love talking to people, listening to people. And I admit sometimes I act shy in front of strangers. Yes, I am a people-person. I still remember Master Khor saying that I’ll get rich by kpo-ing. So I infer that my future career might be just that as well. We’ll see how!
Moving on to internships, it’s also mind-boggling. Seriously, my GPA can’t get me an internship that I would want. BUT THANKFULLY, I FOUND A DREAM INTERNSHIP! Honestly, I know job descriptions might be deceiving. But I do not mind being deceived by that particular internship. At least I’m quite sure that it’s not a 9 – 5 data entry job. I really really do not want that. I want to be able to kpo around the office for me to learn here and there. Hahah! So yes, I’ll go and meet my career counsellor next thursday and see what good advice can she give. I’m so excited!
EXCHANGE! I WANT TO GO EXCHANGE! After doing all the maths and everything, things are going to work out after all. Thank goodness. I really hope St. Gallen would work out for me. I think I want to go Switzerland since the age of .. 11? or 12? The only problem is whether can I get the place. I know some people are quite skeptical about exchange. And some even act shy! (Yes, Freda, if you are reading about this, I’m talking about you!! Say what you lazy to make friends. I see you like every 3 seconds make one friend lor! HAHAHAHAH!) Honestly, besides exchange, I can’t find a period of time in my life that I’m healthy and energetic to travel the world. Even honeymoon can only go like 1 week plus because Singapore’s labour regulations only allow 14 days of no-pay leave. Okay la, after graduation is another period as well. But that period you need to do job search as well. But I’m a greedy girl. I want to travel to many places. So I am for exchange! I know that I might have to take a loan. I hope it’s not from the banks la, since I’m already in bad debt because of my tuition fees. But that aside, things will work out because I have awesome parents who planned everything to make sure that all their kids have enough to go to universities if they managed to. So yes, no worry about that!
Okay! Off to school for recording!
It’s Saturday
And I’m at home trying to finish my psyc readings for the week. Seriously, I think taking psyc was not stupid after all.
Greys got me!
I always felt that Grey’s Anatomy is a good show. I do not like it for the reason I like Gossip Girl. It’s a totally different thing.
Just now, a scene caught me. Really, really caught me.
It was about this old couple. The old lady was going to have her brain surgery to remove her tumor and she requested not to be on life support if she did not manage to make it. Before she went in for surgery, the old couple kissed and said their goodbyes. The old man said something like, we’ll say hello again later.
However, he never did. I still remember how he refused to let her go when McDreamy told him that his love had moved on. He tried to do CPR, which was totally wrong on her. (I know I’m not supposed to correct his method! Don’t blame me la!) He said, “I do not want to be the one to let go of her.”
Only drama has it.
But, I still believe in happily ever after.
It’s going to be 3 years. I can’t believe I actually managed to stand by him for 3 years, given our bad tempers. He’s always the one who is better with words and expressions. And I’m always the one, stamping my foot and open my water tap. AND I WILL WIN. Not recently though, because he wants to teach me a lesson. @#$%^& We have our conflicts, but none lasted a day. I’m really very thankful for that, especially I have friends who quarreled for weeks.
He’s my best friend. And yes, he is also my boyfriend. I love you.
(OMG! I can’t believe I put this up!)
Twenty Ten
2009 has been rather a great year, besides the passing of my grandma and grandpa.
I just hope things will get better from now.
Awesome December
Finally, an awesome month for me. And one of the reasons is definitely no school for me.
Had the SMU random clique chalet straight after my MA examination where I’m going to ban Malibu for a while. Nevertheless, I had loads of fun before going to China to continue having fun. I love how we force Meixin to let down her $260 hair, which I seriously think it’s okay-looking and she insisted that she looked like a poodle. I love how Freda and I were not thinking properly when we went up the pirate ship like umpteen times just to prove that we are cool. I love how Huiyi like to sleep beside me at night. I know I was a good sleeping partner but I’m sure Florence and Shiqi will definitely disagree to this statement. Heh.
I swear I did not know that the OSCP to China will be so fun. Everyone was so fun. However, I think Luoyuan is like an emo place. Almost every night, there is like an emo session. I think there are times I made people angry, or rather very angry. I shan’t elaborate. What happens there stays there. We had our very irritating person, who can’t stop talking and I’m so thankful that I did not have to eat dinner for the last day. I’m sure JasT, Chet, Charles, Rena, Hwei Ting and Zhan Seng will agree. Many of us agree that we would be nicer to the PRCs here in Singapore on the account of those people in Luoyuan. It’s almost paradise. I had SEAFOOD every single day. I saw FIREWORKS almost every day. We played with fireworks and firecrackers too. Although to be honest, it wasn’t a good OCSP trip, it was a fantastic trip with 14 others, whom I thought might be not so fun after all. They all proven me wrong and wrong. Especially my wrap 2. Now, I got 14 more nice people in my SMU list. Sorry, let’s make it 11 since I knew JasT, HT, C before that. And I really bath 3 times daily.
I had JNCO. It’s awesome. Through this camp, I saw desire. I saw passion. I saw determination. I saw growth. It’s really heartwarming. And that’s probably the reason why I felt it was okay to take a break. Though things are not exactly on track, at least I know that there are people who are trustworthy enough for me. I think I dropped another few kilos of weight after this camp. Totally physically draining. I’m still feeling tired after 2 days of rest.
And I can’t wait for school to start.
That being said, I need to meet lots of people.
1. Michelle and gang.
2. Bullshit
3. Junyu and gang, which is technically the same as 1. I’m lazy to delete
4. Clarabella and gang.
5. Meixin and gang.
But to be honest, I kinda dread 2010, where all my peers are turning 21. I’ve already got 4 invites for the first week of January. I wish I wasn’t that sociable when I was younger. I’m going to list down who will be the ones that I’ll be attending. I know that sound disgusting. 
Call me stupid
I smell freedom.
I hear freedom.
The inability to do what I used to do quite well sucks.
The inability to get back on track sucks.
Maybe it wasn’t my thing after all. If other people can, I should be able to. Or at the very least be comparable to them. I’m not even near. I’m not even close. I’m thrown behind far away. So far that I can’t see what’s in front of me anymore.
It’s scary. It’s taunting. Not to see what’s there for you anymore. Your vision is slowly being blocked. I feel like a blind now. One of the people that are still pulling me to guide me is Loong. Now that he has a much clearer view of his own future, I’m so glad for him. That’s probably one of the best things that happen this few months.
Now I have to ask myself again what do I want. Yes, DJ is still my dream. I’ll most probably never going to give up for now. But, this is not a sure thing. I have to make sure that I have to be financially sound even without that.
School’s better for now, besides that bugger who wasted 10 hours of my life. I think many of you all know who is he. No more irritating groupmate, for one all my groupmates are my FRIENDS. How lucky can I get, especially I don’t feel irritated at all. I get to laugh at yan mei mei even though I don’t get to see her hair yet. Most probably I will do it tomorrow during the chalet.
I like all my profs even though I don’t do well. (I’m just pure stupid. I know. I get it!) I know that I’m a r***** but I’m so glad that I chose seshan. hahah! And my MA prof comes from the country which has the best milk tea in the world. Or at least to me. My CAT prof who asked my favourite kind of classmate to shut up and give others a chance. And yes, my IEA prof who’s not really pro P*P made Monday morning lessons so bearable.
I’m still late for lessons. I’m still ponning lessons. At least better than previous semesters. Time table for next semester is quite awesome. Felt quite glad that I dropped consumer behavior. Not sure if marketing is something I really want for now. Shit! I need to consider my majors.
And i’m back to MA, capital budgeting.
MA MA MA MA MA
MA is driving me crazy. #$%^&
没有能力在继续这场比赛了。我要向命运低头了。这也许是我唯一能做的。
请你原谅我。
我向你说声对不起。
