It’s been a while since I last blogged. Twitter sort of replaced this blog for me to whine and put thoughts in. However, 140 characters are just not enough to express myself for today. Sitting here in Starbucks with my favorite toffee nut frappé makes me so comfortable that I can’t get to work. Haha.
Graduation is nearing. I know it’s fearful but I am more than excited for it to come. The anticipation for this ending has never been so strong. But what I fear now is what lies ahead of me. I am not a believer of any religion. No one can tell me to pray to guanyinma (my mum ask me to do that!!). No one can tell me that He will provide. When we were younger, it’s much easier to dream and talk about it. For no one will judge you. Your parents will just nod and say yes to whatever you say. When we grew older and people form expectations of us, it gets more difficult for us to express our dreams. We are afraid of judgment. We are afraid of failure.
I have been thinking about what is going to happen for me after graduation. I really have no idea. I have dreams, of course. However, I’m just not good enough. I don’t think I will have enough time to be good enough either. Sometimes when I look at those people who are fighting so hard for their dreams, I really respect them a lot. Because I have long lost the determination to fight anymore. And that is so sad.
Back to equity!
